Merry Christmas, Economy!

Yep, Gonzaga sent out 'official' letters to everyone assuring them that plenty of scholarship money will be available for next semester... Yay!

Breaking Dawn Humor

I've spent the past few weeks listening (and re-listening) to the 'Twilight' series on iTunes. I finally reached the honeymoon part of the final book. Tee he he...

I haven't quite reached the half-way point, but all I have to say is Bella is a freakin' moron!

Just for a laugh:

Totally Predictable

Wow, who would have guessed that?
So for the past month or so the new 'popular' obsession has been Twilight. FYI: I have totally been a Robert Pattinson fan since Goblet of Fire, unlike everyone else. HA! I've always been ahead of my time... Anyways, now that I'm currently half-way through the third of the four book series, I realized a few things:

• My attachment to fictional story lines is quite pathetic


• I crush. A LOT. No surprise there


• Since I basically sleep away all daylight hours and like being cold, I should be a vampire


• I have an awkward obsession with sexy vampires. Fetish much? Awkward...

Yep, I like vampires. I never eat pork, can't stand the smell of cooking meat and get sick if I eat more than a few bites... Yet I concede to having an above-average tolerance and fascination with blood. Hmm... But you already know part of that story (if you've been paying attention).
Take a gander at my favorite blood suckers. Bite me anytime, boys *wink*:

Henry Fitzroy from Blood Ties

Mick St. John from Moonlight

Edward Cullen from heaven...I mean Twilight

On the Town

Anna managed to get me out of my house for Halloween. We went to Dempsey's and (sadly) after only one drink (a large one though) we both were mildly drunk. It was a pretty fun night. Anna's little sis and her boyfriend (Trevor? Travis?) gave us a ride home, during which I was almost embarrassingly drunk and told Trev/Trav many, many irrelevant things about myself. I've obviously lost my tolerance a bit. I didn't throw up though, in fact I didn't even get close. Hmmm...

I dressed like an 80s punk...with a purple Cobra Starship hoodie. I'm a pretty out of it here. It's amazing how well I could work my phone even though I could barely see straight.

Anna the Flapper!! (Sounds like another nickname I had for her a few years ago...) She was seriously hot.

So few words

Except for maybe delicious. Adorkable. Schmexy.

I should check eBay for a Texan Adonis

Things like this make me miss drum corps

The mellophone section of the Michigan Marching Band makes me laugh. And then I get a little sad with the memories of baritone section escapades...

Make My Day!

No, not in the 'Dirty Harry' way.

After my meltdown early this morning, I got a little surprise...

Anna loves me!!

But this really shouldn't come as a surprise to me, Anna has always been there for. And she always will. I call and she comes.

Thanks for being there, Anna My Lover!

This is what happens...

...when it all stays within my mind.



I end up losing it at 4 am listening to Anberlin's new album ('Blame Me! Blame Me' on New Surrender).

WHAT?!?!?!

I am confused. But that's not really new for me...

SUPER-PUP!

Scenes From My Twisted Mind (Act I)

If Jensen Ackles were any better looking I'd have to seal him in a Plexiglas case for safekeeping.
Oh God! I think I've just cum!

Hello, my Texan Adonis!

Cory Has A Drinking Problem

This guy and his cat, Sparta, make me laugh. Nothing better than random, senseless comedy, right?

Check out his YouTube videos here...
...and Sparta (aka The Mean Kitty) here.

Laugh it out

Let's be irrationally wrapped up in material oblivion for a few moments...

Twin-cestuous-ness

Is that even a word? No way

Say hello to the 14-15 year old emo boy who looks surprisingly similar to me.



Awkward, right? There are too few words...

'Ham' it up, dear!

I seriously need to read Hamlet; I've been meaning to since Warren the Ape performed the monologue (after Claudius' death) for an audition with Gary Oldman on "Greg the Bunny. A strange insight into classic Elizabethan literature, I know, but anything with puppets is far more interesting.

I could be bounded in a nutshell—and count myself a king of infinite space—were it not that I have bad dreams.
-Hamlet-

A Little 1-on-1 With Mr. Ripley

Comfort Through Anonymous Solidarity

Weird moment today: I went outside to separate the recyclables and saw the neighbor's female black lab on the porch humping a blanket. I honestly had no idea that a female dog would go around and hump something - seems more like a male thing, you know - but I guess anythings possible.

Anywho... Ever think about the irony of the ever-popular internet social networks? MySpace, Buzznet, FriendsOrEnemies, SocialVibe, Facebook, etc. all seem to bring everyone together; people from different backgrounds, continents...
But in order to fully engage in these communities participants often become almost addicted, neglecting actual human interaction for cyber-interaction. Awkward, right?

Sweet but sadly rare

Just finished watching the latest episode of Eli Stone on iTunes (Waiting For That Day) and I found it gave me a little bit of hope for myself. Like perhaps my high school friend was right when she said I wasn't as crazy as everyone thought, just saner than everyone else.
When someone says, "Tell me about yourself" in an interview or upon a first encounter, I never know what to say. I usually say too little initially then end up revealing far too much. The truth is that I am far too honest for own good; I don't know myself, so I never claim such. Now with a little unexpected inspiration from a quirky TV show I've got this little tidbit to tell people about myself:
Most people write me off as crazy but if you take the time to get to know me a little you'll find out the opposite is true. My close confidants agree: I am the sanest person in the world, but no one knows it.



I am the sanest person in the world, but no one knows it.

MySpace Post Numero Dos

Here I go again: "Let's stream all that unconsciousness!"

I'm just killing some time before an appointment...
Hey everyone/no one!
It started snowing really hard just when I needed to walk to the bus stop. So I am now slightly moist and my bangs look extremely odd. Apparently snow reactivates hair gel and turns it into cement.

Yesterday morning some very strong men started to reshingle the roof on my house. So there I was, trying to get a few more hours of sleep, and I start to hear loud stomping, pounding and a lot of other noises. Amazingly enough I managed to kinda sleep through it after listening to a little soothing Anberlin. I've been so tired lately that I could sleep through a hurricane.

I should have more spare time coming my way (for reasons I'll eventually discuss once I've worked them all out) so I guess it's back to searching for a job!
I plan on re-vamping my blog, buzznet, and myspace with some serious original html-coding (by hand, since I'm a computer nerd) whenever I get around to it... And I'm going to start writing again...for fun. Poetry, satire, nonfiction...whatever flows.

Somewhere someone must care what I have to say!
OOOH! I should definately send out another round of handmade postcards to everyone and their dogwalker. I still have tons I made over winter break. And since I have a pile of magazines the size of Olympus Mons (check it out on wikipedia, if you like) I'll collage a lot of random stuff. Perhaps someone will even want to join me one of these days... Not bloody likely, but I can dream.

Anyone interested in going to Warped Tour?
Anyone want to go with me and watch as I get tattooed? It could be interesting. I'll let you take pics, even if I start to cry. I didn't cry last time, just had a really scrunched-up face and my muscles kept twitching from the pain.

Hmmm...what else can I bore you with?
I'm making a spoof of an Anberlin song. It should be pretty cool...or at least somewhat interesting/entertaining. I'll post it here once I finish. I'm such a stickler that I've only done like 9 seconds out of like three and a half minutes. Don't worry, it won't take for ever. Things will go faster once I can actually take the time and start filming myself doing ridiculous things like pretending to play the song on the electric guitar I have which I still don't know how to play (after like 6.5 years).

Little projects. That's what is keeping me at my usually level of (in)sanity. Little things to pass the time and let the creativity flow.

Oh crap! I should probably be thinking about heading off to my appointment now... Hopefully this will go smoothly and will be it as far as this sort of thing goes. Hopefully. Cross your fingers for me or pray (whatever you think works better).

Details to follow...if you want.

Poor, funny, molested boy

I am officially the worst person in the world right now

I just intentionally hurt my mum.
She's so sensitive, kind and lonely. A lot like me, only without all the inner malice and deception.
She cares so much for everyone else and often neglects herself...

...and all I could do was hurt her.

Excuse me while I fall apart

Last Wednesday I saw my general (family) doctor, and on Thursday I saw my rheumatologist. Both independently agree that I am (and I quote from their exact words) "a chemically difficult person." OMG! You think?
Now it seems I must be shipped off to the gynecologist (a man, most likely, because women gynecologists are a dying breed) to determine just how screwed up I am hormonally and if I am indeed truly sterile as my many autoimmune diseases suggest.
After this I have to go back to the ear-nose-throat doctor to determine why I am STILL afflicted by viral throat infections even after having my tonsils removed. Then back to the general doctor to get a referral for the neurologist to deal with my numb fingers (along the left ulnar nerve).
I am a 21-year old medical nightmare.

MySpace Post

As a part of a deal I made with myself to reach out more, here lies one of my first random bulletins for everyone/no one to see.

To the nobody who cares,

Okay, so I have been doing oodles of surveys lately instead of actually writing something...
I've felt like crap lately. Since I had my tonsils out last week I haven't been able to take my antidepressants/antianxiety pills. I admit it, I've been going a little crazy. It really doesn't help that my painkillers make me even more depressed (yep, that's possible)...and they also give me horrible/vivid nightmares.
But that's not all that is on my plate. I've developed an honest-to-god fear of sleeping. Partally because when I sleep my mind wanders wherever it wants - often to bad places I'd rather keep hidden - and partally because I am afraid to wake up again. I am afraid to open my eyes and find myself back in this same place, this same hell hole.
I need to find a new pyschiatrist. I need someone to just sit there and listen to whatever I have to say. The evil shrink I went to before told me I lack a support-system and that I have no one. This past week, I realized he was right. Even when hopped-up on painkillers and bubbling over with hate and depression I couldn't say what I really wanted.
Such is my life, my head is full of things I never have the courage to say. My head is full of melancholy and all I ever do is wallow in it's ever-growing precipice. I need to take a vacation from my thoughts. Fuck, I'm messed up.
When did that happen, right?
Probably sometime between my open and wild childhood and my journey into adulthood when I realized just how fake I really am.

Feel free to care. Please.
Anyone.